My Independence

The passing of Independence Day had my mind going in circles. How am I independent when I HAVE to work, I HAVE to go to school, I HAVE to pay bills. I'm Married! And we all know there is no independence in that! Seriously, when I contemplate my independence I think of the decisions I make everyday. I consider those around me, but sometimes its all about me. I'm a giving person, so to be solely independent is nearly impossible.

The only time I really grasp my Independence (this month's Pro Point) is when I'm praying. I let my spirit guide me. I pray alone and I pray with others. No one can see or hear my thoughts. I am one. I am at peace in prayer. I am independent.

PP

P.S. For fun you can count the number of times I write "independence."

Goodbye Mr. Jackson

The death of one of my favorite musicians, Michael Jackson, has made me slightly obsessed about what happened to him. The hours following his death, I made a break for the web and basically sat in front of my PC for hours, while CNN played on the TV. Not since 9/11, had I been so engrossed with the media. I know I shouldn't spend my time trying to read everything I can get my man-hands on. Its just hard not to.

While my mom cried endlessly, she remembered seeing Jackson, when he was with the Jackson 5, in concert as a young girl. She is so fond of the memory and feels blessed to have been apart of it.

I remember my siblings and I dancing and singing "shaoooohh" or "shamon.'" We were fans of the music, fans of his movement.

As time went on, we all witnessed Jackson's dark-skinned appearance turn purposely white, he was fodder for comedians around the world. Oddly, Jackson never clarified why his skin looked the way it did. Yet he sang about it not mattering if you were "black or white." After seeing Jackson's children, we wonder are they "black or white?"The only time he defended himself was when the child molestation charges where brought against him. Otherwise, the singer never really addressed the rumors written. Naturally, we all pegged Jackson guilty.This was a man who surrounded himself with children, had a home built around the theme "Neverland" and had sleepovers with kids; this didn't exactly dispel innocence.

The media has a tendency to create and spin stories, getting information from any and everyone that was involved with the singer and now post mortem, Jackson has to watch the private life he tried so hard to keep private become a grocery store of limitless stories.

I'm such a believer in God Almighty that I know he is the final judge. He laughs at our feeble attempts to justify and control a world that is not meant for us to control. Where we see fault, he sees wonder. I know Jackson is his wonder.

He will never rest in peace here on earth, that I do know. We will forever pick apart his life. We will speculate and wait for his children to talk. But in the loving arms of God, it is there he will rest for eternity.

PP

Copycat

After my mother learned that her sister, my aunt, had gone out and purchased a pair of black strappy sandals; my mom has the same pair. We had a good chuckle about it.

Here's the dilemma; My mom thinks of herself as a fashionista. My aunt, on the other hand, isn't as fashionable. While my mom chooses youthful clothing, my aunt finds old fashioned garb that makes her look twice her age. My mom says she loves her sister, but doesn't want to be caught wearing the same clothing or shoes as her. No offense, is my mother's claim. I asked my mom why doesn't she just go shopping with her. "Oh, no, she will pick out whatever I don't like," my mom giggled. Good answer!

Think about your chicest friend whose style is innate. Would you blatantly copy her look? Some people take it as a compliment while others aren't so happy to see someone bite their style. It's different with family; you can get away with it.

None of this is a big deal to me. I do have a girlfriend whose fashion sense is always up to par. Did I mention she has a fabulous body to go with it? Yeah, I couldn't copy her if I tried! Though, if she found me wearing something she had, I think she'd take it as a compliment.

While my mom pouts over my aunts decision, vowing to go out and buy a new pair of shoes, I'm just grateful to have shoes.

PP

Scary Statistic

I'm a sucker for celebrity gossip so when I visit the gossip sites, I don't expect to be educated. Yesterday, I was doing my usual surfing and I stumbled upon a disturbing report regarding HIV among black men in the United States.

The report included a map of where the most HIV cases were located. The east coast was saturated in red; the most reported cases. New York, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts (almost completely red), right down to the southern tip of Florida are states with the most HIV cases.
In fact, according to this map, the cases are in the urban areas of these states.

This is a very, very scary statistic. HIV is being under reported, virtually ignored in the media. It's the HIV epidemic that needs commercials and warnings and constant media attention, not the Swine Flu. Don't get me wrong, the Swine Flu is deadly, but in most cases curable. HIV is not.

I can remember growing up with Public Service Announcements so scary that I didn't want to use drugs or be involved in any illegal activities. What ever happened to those PSA's? Today's youth is so focused on sex and violence that they are ruining their futures; they have no warnings, only television shows, in the form of reality T.V, related to risky sexual activities and materialistic lifestyles.

As young black men continue to be a dying breed; most go to prison, succumb to gun violence or contract HIV. It is more important for young black male children to be educated, nurtured by family, friends and their community.

I don't want to see HIV consume our youth. Surely, there is something we can do. I plan on getting educated on the subject, finding out how I can get involved. Will you? 

PP

Laugh Out Loud, Please

I use to be the type of person to dwell on tough situations, but lately, with so much going on in my life, I have learned that these experiences are going to take me on a roller coaster ride, wheather I'm ready for it or not.

Writing for PNN has really helped, its been very therapeutic. I keep a personal journal, but PNN is my virtual journal. I adore my followers and hope that others will read and comment on my life experiences. We're women, so we understand this stuff! Lets just be realistic, sometimes its nice to know that others are fighting the good fight. A friend once told me, if you don't share you're writing with others, what's the point?

In honor of the tough times, I like to focus on the positive and a good joke is an extension of that. Think about why we tune in to shows like Jay Leno and David Letterman. There is nothing like a good laugh.

Here's a few funnies, both naughty and nice, to tickle your fancy:

The Naughty Joke

There are 70 ways to keep a woman happy
One is to take her shopping.
The rest is 69.

The Funny Joke

Two clowns eating soup one looks over to the other and says does this taste funny to you?

The Old Man Joke

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.

He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response. Finally, he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "for the third time, yes!"

Check out my "Joke of the Week" section too! Regardless of what's going on, there's nothing like a good laugh, right?

PP

On Father's Day

Even on Father's Day, I think of my mother who has had tempestuous relationships with my biological father and my step father. While its tempting to go into a spiel about my childhood and what it was like to be raised by my step father and partially abandoned by my biological father, I want to focus on what is most important; love and forgiveness.

Both are healthy strong men, making their mark on a cold world. They have made mistakes, yet they keep moving on, taking life one day at a time. My mother, the woman who they bore children with, loves them despite the past. I honor her. I honor my fathers.

Happy Father's Day to all the father's who helped make us the women we are today.

"The GREATEST thing a father can do to his children, is to love their mother." -Author Unknown

PP

Out of The Shell

When I first started my career, which was originally teaching, I was told I was "too nice" and "timid." The latter wasn't exactly a compliment.

These labels followed me into other career endeavors. At the time, I tried hard to shake off the comments and inject myself with a little assertiveness without coming across mean.

What is the difference between being assertive and being mean? I just didn't know how to differentiate the two. Til this day, I hate to be considered too nice or timid. And with my new job, where I will be dealing with adolescent boys with behavior problems, that's the last thing I want to hear.

My intentions aren't to be mean or to act like a stone faced bitch, but I do plan on giving the kids a little bit of attitude. Asking for a little respect comes with a price. Gone are the days when children had the utmost respect for adults. I have a bad habit of wanting "everything to be okay," and I realize sometimes you have to put up a wall and forget about how others perceive you, especially children.

The fact that I'm in this new position is a direct result of the character trait I refuse to admit I have; I can be timid. I have a master's in education and a bachelors in journalism and media. As of today, I am not in either career field. A few bad experiences left me running scared, like a chicken with its head cut off.

The more I continue to runaway from the path laid out for me, the more mountains that I will have to move. I'm at a point where I don't want to be timid. I have to tell myself that I am worth more than what I've settled for.

PP

Tattoo a "To Do?"

I have no tattoos. Not one. Not even a small one, so it's funny to see the reaction of others when I tell them this. I mean, how many people do you know that don't have any tattoos?

Tattoo's are cool and all, but I'd never get one unless I know for sure that I wouldn't regret it. My tattoo would be small, definitely be spiritual.

I have met many individuals who speak passionately about their tattoo's and most tell me that getting a tattoo is addictive, meaning one is never enough. Well, let me tell you about the one tattoo that has stood the test of time:

55 years ago a strapping young man met an amazing woman. They had a instant connection and the young man told the woman that he was in love with her and wanted to spend his life with her. To solidify his confession he went out and got a tattoo of her name on his arm, "My Love Theresa," it read. Shortly after, they married and are still happily married today.

The young man and the woman are my beloved grandparents. And even as time has faded the colors of his precious tattoo, his love for my grandmother is as visible and fresh as it was all those years ago.

While my grandfather's commitment to his tattoo is inspiring, I'm just not sure if I will get one. It's no big deal, I can live with it or without it.

PP

The Kate Debate

Are people seriously criticizing Kate Gosselin for spanking her child? The media acts as if she abused her daughter. For the record, parents are allowed to spank their children, as long as they don't use excessive force or leave marks or bruises. Secondly, the paparazzi stalks this woman night and day; they are bound to catch something on camera.

I know I'm treading on thin ice, so let it be known that I DO NOT CONDONE any type of ABUSE. Whether you agree with me or not, she is the parent and is allowed to discipline them the way she deems fit, so long as she is not abusing them. Perhaps Kate could have found a different way to discipline her child (taking a toy away etc.), but its totally unfair for the media to make her out to be some kind of monster. Lets be careful not to infuse our feelings in regards to Kate Gosselin having her children on television. That should not be the issue. With eight kids, life has to be interesting. People are watching.

How you discipline your child is your business. Let Kate Gosselin handle hers.

What do you think?

PP

Driver's Seat

I live in a small town so I expect people, when driving, to be more considerate and responsible than those who live in the big city. When I lived in New York City drivers were overly aggressive, but I was aware of this, so I drove cautiously. Still, city drivers used their signals and you pretty much knew you had to look out for those who would cut you off. In my rearview mirror, I'd spot them zooming up behind me.

Since moving back to my hometown, I noticed that drivers are more likely not to use their signal when making a turn or changing lanes, they drive slow in the lane that's designated as the "fast" lane and I have been cut off more times than I could count. Though city drivers were (and still are) aggressive, suburban drivers seem inconsiderate and rude. In the city a good honking of the horn will make you pay attention. Up here, no one uses their horn and when you do, the death stares are not far behind.

Every time I get in my car, I take a chance with my life. I'm no saint, but for the most part I take it easy and follow traffic rules and regulations. My goal is to just make it to and from my destination in one piece.

Drive Safely!

PP

Me Time

Everyday when one arrives home from work there is usually a routine to follow. Either you make dinner, tend to the children, continue working or you just may have the luxury of just relaxing.

For me, it's important to have time to myself, I call it "me time." I usually like to sit alone on the sofa, thinking about my dreams, analyzing my goals and figuring out how I can make better use of my time.

Growing up I watched my mother prepare for time with her girlfriends with glee. She'd get all dressed up, wearing some fancy perfume and back then, she wore bright-colored heels. In all her fabulousness, she always made sure we were taken care of first. Back then, there was no cell phone, yet my mother always called to check up on us. Going out; this was her "me time." It was her time to do what she liked to do. As much as my step father would gripe, my mom kept to the same routine. She was amazing, she still is. She always made sure that we were taken care of first.

I don't have any children, but I make sure that my husbands needs are met before I take this "me" time. Luckily, I have my mother was a wonderful role model. Today, she tells me that I should always do something that is just for me, whether it's getting my nails done, going out with friends or curling up on the couch with a good intellectual or shameless gossipy read. Too bad my step father never accepted that.

Unlike my step father, I believe my husband and I will find ways to incorporate alone time (he is just like me being that he desires his space) when we become parents. Obviously, motherhood will come with its difficulties and I may not always get my "me time" when I want it, but knowing there will be that little slice of solitude will await me is just as satisfying.

A Party in Ruins

One of the worst things you could do is steal from someone. The act of stealing is selfish and cowardly.

Yesterday, a long time friend of the family was suspected of stealing money from my baby cousin's birthday cards. She is the suspect because a similar incident has happened before. To make matters worse, she had her children stand by as "guards" so that she would not get caught.

This woman almost single-handedly ruined my whole weekend. After spending time with my baby cousin, who turned four, it was such a joy to see him play with the other children and really have a good time. Little did he know that someone was plotting, planning to take from him.

My aunt bravely confronted the alleged thief and she denied it. Sadly, she incriminated herself by mentioning a key piece of information that my aunt had not yet mentioned.A few years ago, after having her and the kids over for a play date, my aunt was missing an item from her home. She ignored it and did not address the issue. My aunt could not and would not let this slide.

This time was different. Not only did she steal, but she stole from her child and then left the evidence in the bathroom of the gymnasium, where the party took place.

My aunt is in a difficult position. What is she to tell her son when he asks why his friends are missing from his next party? I know she will figure out a way to tell her son, eventually. The irony of all this; my aunt was invited to the alleged criminal's children's birthday party, which is next weekend. My aunt plans on attending, but she will have no gift. Then she plans on cutting all communication with this woman and unfortunately her children too.

Can you blame her? I don't. Honestly, all I can do is pray that this woman realizes that her despicable act cost her and her children a very dear friendship. Maybe, just maybe she won't do this to someone else.

PP

Workplace Antics

The workplace is a place to socialize, network and of course--work! With this in mind, there is something else going on in the workplace and it has nothing to do with proposals or lesson plans. This is 2009 and I know it's nothing new, but the buzz around my side of town is that people are getting very cozy with co-workers. Not only are they having early morning breakfast or a brunch, but there is an exchange of phone numbers, emails, dirty text messaging; all of this can lead up to ending up in bed with someone who isn't your significant other.

I'm guilty of workplace flirtation. But let me be clear; I have never crossed the line. Can I tell you that I never will? Perhaps. Can one really say "never?" Let me get back to you on that one.

Before I got married, I was teaching in a NYC school. There was a male gym teacher who took a special liking to me. I saw him everyday because in my position, I traveled with my students to all of their classes. We talked, mostly about the kids, but our conversations sometimes slipped into the "personal" zone. It wasn't until he asked me out on a date, that I realized he thought I was into him. As clueless as I was, I never realized that our innocent conversations and my flirtation would lead up to that. When I told him I had a boyfriend, he was dumbfounded. Thankfully, he respected my relationship status and didn't try to coerce me into any infidelious acts. I knew I wasn't going to go there, but some men don't take the term "I'm not interested" so lightly.

Ever since then, I promised myself that I would limit my conversations with any male staff. As far as the gym teacher, he and I remain friends, but we don't talk like we use to. Besides, I no longer work at that school. More importantly, I'm happily married now and he went on to start a family.

With the start of a new job, I know I have to set clear and strict boundaries with any male staff, especially since the position includes a substantial amount of male employees. I don't ever want to be in the position where I'd have to question my morals.

It's very easy to get caught up in general conversations with co-workers about love, life and relationships. I won't shut anyone out or be unkind. But they should know, in the end, work is work and should be treated as such.

PP

From The Big O

Oprah comes on at a time when I'm normally at work, so I don't really get the opportunity to see the show when it airs. Thankfully, she comes at night, so if the nightly news isn't on, I may check out the show.

This week O is focusing on how we all could live our best lives; it's O's Best Life Week.

I kid you not, I was drawn to the program for a reason. As I stated, I rarely catch Oprah.

Today's topic was very interesting. The discussion centered around spirituality, minus religion. Oprah had three of her favorite spiritual advisers on the show. Though, I don't remember their names, but I do know what they had to say inspired me to think about my life's purpose in a more meaningful way.

Here's what I learned from Spirituality 101:

O featured exerts from men and women going through difficult situations. 101 says; focus on what's working in your life.

We're going through difficulties to grow us as human beings. 101 says; crisis means crossroads.

Don't blame God. 101 says; God is a loving God. He has a plan for our lives.

Many of us consider ourselves to be spiritual, but are we? 101 says; a "spiritual warrior" feels life deeply.

I know that I'm not always 100% honest with myself or others, but it's mostly because I don't want to hurt any one's feelings. 101 says; have courage to live the life of your dreams.

I have made so many mistakes that sometimes I find myself dwelling on them. 101 says; practice self-forgiveness and self-appreciation.

Everyday (or at least I try) I thank God for my toes, ears, etc. Sounds silly, but my appreciation is in those gifts that I do not take for granted. I believe I have a purpose in life and that I'm here in this moment. While here, I practice kindness, love, forgiveness, acceptance and honor. It's easy to express my intentions in words, but I make mistakes and I'm not always on my best behavior.

So, I simply will take a deep breath and absorb my life in this moment. I am happy to just be.

PP

Organization and War

I like organization. I'm not a "neat freak," but I do consider my thirst for structure and order to be justified. Is it wrong to have the bed made every morning? Dishes cleaned? An organized closet?

Lately, I've been picking up after my husband who doesn't adhere to the aforementioned. It became painfully clear to me when we got into disagreements about everyday chores. Even before we married, I noticed he wasn't as neat as I was. After all, he did pick up after himself. No big deal, right? 

Wrong. As time went on, I had to "remind" my husband to pick up his clothes and put them in the hamper.

Not much has changed. I hoot and holler and for a moment, he manages to get it together. Two days or even a day later, it's back to square one.

How is that even possible?

At this point, I feel like giving up. I won't start leaving my clothes all over, no, I want to give up trying to get my husband on board the organize train.

Seriously, is it too much to ask to be neat and tidy?

I feel like this is a battle I'm never going to win. Yet, what is there to lose when all you ask for is a clean counter top. We live in an apartment, but I find myself thinking about how our house would look, not too messy, I hope.

My husband has always encouraged me to be open and honest. When I explain to him that organization is a part of who I am (this prevents me from sounding like a crazed woman) having him participate in keeping an orderly home is key, he looks at me like I'm Medusa. Suddenly, my honesty causes a problem. What a double standard!

I know this post makes it sound like my husband is a slob, which he is not. In fact, while we dated I thought he was incredibly neat for a "man." And like me, when life is stressful, we find it a little hard to maintain organization. The sympathy stops there.

I do expect for us to reach a level of understanding; all is fair in organization and war. I know for me, it's a battle I have to keep on fighting.

PP

RN

I'm watching The View and the ladies are discussing a new show called "Nurse Jackie," starring Edie Falco, a show about a nurse with "Soprano"-type problems.

Nurse Jackie cheats on her husband, steals and uses drugs.

Interestingly enough the ladies pointed out that the Nurses Association is in an uproar about the show, claiming the its depiction of "Nurse Jackie"  gives all nurses a bad name.

Could America really look at "one" nurse and say all nurses are like Jackie?

Since when have we allowed a single show to define who we are as people? Television is a form of entertainment. Actors and actress are solely there to portray the general ideas given to them by screenwriters, directors, producers etc. I don't know about you, but if I find a television show offensive, like "Family Guy" I will not watch. There would be no reason for me to watch. If a show doesn't entertain, motivate or uplift me, I simply pick up my remote control and change the channel.

I haven't watched "Nurse Jackie;" I do not have Showtime, so I can't give you my opinion of the show. In my home, we watch "Law and Order" reruns, "Two and a Half Men" or old episodes of "Martin." There's Netflick too!

If the ideal of "Nurse Jackie" is bothersome, my suggestion; watch "Hawthorne," starring Jada Pinkett Smith, it's about a nurse who fights for her patients.

PP

Trial and Error

With an impending new position at hand, I am seeking to update my current look--a new hairstyle. Since I'm already working on my weight, why not put the focus on the one thing that very much defines us.

For inspiration, I've scouted some popular hair magazines for the latest hair trends. Since I'm African-American, I choose to relax my hair, which makes it straighter. I could go natural, but I'm not a fan of spending too much time on my hair; whatever takes the least amount of time is the look I want.

I refuse to wear braids or extensions. That look may flatter some, but for me its another added concern--how would I blend my natural hair with the extension hair? It's already too much to contemplate!

My hair has grown ever so slowly, it now reaches my shoulders. I thought about cutting it, from what I've heard shorter hair is harder to tame.

Adding color is always an easy update, but the chemicals will probably make my hair fall out. Yikes!

I tried the bang look; this is the look I'm currently wearing. I'm already sick of it. I can't stand the feeling on hair on my forehead. More often than not, I'm smacking my head thinking bugs are crawling on me.

What will my husband say? How will friends react to my hairstyle choice?

My ostentatious attitude isn't helping. Closing off all my options won't exactly get my creative juices flowing. Maybe I'll give the color a shot, perhaps an angled bob will satisfy me. I just don't know what I want to do. Whatever I decide, I have to make my choice confidently, with no regrets.

My guess is that tackling this whole hair issue will have be trial and error.

Wish me luck!

PP

From the Heart

I'm a big fan of PNN because it allows me to write about subjects I'm passionate about. For a long time, I attempted to start a blog, but nothing ever stuck. I was amazed at the amount of women who support each other on this network. With PNN, it has been easy to blog.

Because I'm guilty of not researching the site as I should, my last post was identical to another blogger's post. It wasn't intentional. I'm not a copycat kinda girl. In all fairness, when it comes to my writing, I draw from my day-to-day experiences, trying to be as honest and authentic as possible.

It just shows that as women we think alike, especially when it comes to us wanting to better ourselves and our communities.

I can't promise that my post are always going to be one-of-a-kind, but I can say that it will be from the heart.

PP

Love Thy Self

If someone were to ask me what's my favorite food, I wouldn't even have to think twice. The list would not only be endless, but I'd be hungry too. But if someone asked me, what do I love about myself, I'd have to get back to them.

Its not that I can't think of anything that I LOVE about myself. I just would approach my answer with caution.

I thought about this question and came up with a five things that have decidedly made me happy about being me;

1. My loving and caring nature.

2. My wild and vivid imagination.

3. I love that I love myself more now.

4. I love my smile and pearly white teeth.

5. I love how I've grown in my relationship with God, family and friends.

There are lots more attributes that I love about myself, but these are the top five. I'm excited about always trying to be a better human. For the short time that I'm destined to be here, I want to be, as the Army would put it, all I can be.

What do you love about yourself?

PP

One of those days

Today was just one of those days where you just don't know what to do with yourself. This usually happens to me during the weekend, never on a weekday. Despite being productive, I just felt an overall lack of energy.

I'm in Brooklyn, NY assisting my cousin T, who just had surgery. She's a trooper because I die inside thinking about the day I know the doctor will have to cut me open. Can one really go through life without surgeries? I guess I was a little tense thinking about what she was going through. Maybe that was the reason I had no energy.

Being in a hospital is scary so, I opt to go outside for some fresh air. I walked around the Park Slope section. The streets adorned with little shops looked inviting. I came across an ice cream parlor that was selling a kiddie cone for $3. Crazy, right? Ironically, an ice cream truck was a block away selling a regular soft serve cone for $2. Tough decision.

Of course, it dawned on me that I wasn't visiting the city for pleasure. The weather wasn't exactly holding up either. Lately, its been feeling more like April than June. I made my way back to the hospital.

After a successful procedure, my cousin and I made it back safely (thank God because only he knows how terrible these NYC cab drivers really are) to the house. She had no appetite, so I popped a frozen dinner in the microwave and enjoyed a healthy serving of free ice cream!

PP

Fearless Female

A family member has recently "come out" of the closet. After secretly dating for over a year, she and her girlfriend exchanged vows. While my cousin's wife's family was supportive, our family wasn't. They suspected she was a lesbian and after the pictures were posted on my cousins Facebook page, the whispers, oh's and ah's were heard from New York to the Carolinas.

We come from an African-American family of old school Christians in which they do NOT believe in homosexuality, period.

In this day in time, the media wants to "out" celebs by the minute. Some are accepted because people just "know." Queen Latifah is a perfect example. All assume she is gay and perhaps she doesn't discuss it because she wants to keep her private life private.

I'm not suggesting that my cousin take the Latifah route and keep her sexuality to herself. At least she can live a life away from the cameras.

Today more and more states are allowing gays/lesbians to marry. Gays/lesbians have more and more support from famous faces everyday. Yet, who we see on TV pales in comparison to the person who raised you. More than anything, gays/lesbians want acceptance from family and friends, not celebrities.

For a long time I knew my cousin struggled with telling the family, that's because she wasn't in love. When your in love, you want the whole world to know it, you don't want to keep it to yourself.

Still, I know its hard for her to express her love for her wife to a family of black women who live by "God's word." In their minds, it's immoral and unacceptable. For my cousin, she has made the decision to live her life in the open. It's not even the middle of June, yet I'm adopting her as my fearless female of the month.

Cheers to love, happiness and acceptance!

PP

To Believe

After the mysterious disappearance of Air France Flight 447 my husband and I got into a debate about the possibility of extraterrestrial activities.

Of course, I'm not a wholehearted believer, but to say there is no one else out in this gargantuan universe is actually kind of absurd. Like most, I do need proof and if I can't hear it, see it, smell it or....well you get my point.

That said, I live by faith. Under this conviction, I embrace the possibilities of life taking leaps to uncharted territory.

What do you believe in?

PP

Why He's NOT Into You

He's Just Not Into You came out on DVD today. I haven't seen the movie, but I've heard its a funny take on the signs men give when they're not into you.

Sometimes, as women, we instantly want to blame a guy if he doesn't like us. You know, you'll ask yourself; "what's his problem?"

The majority of my husbands friends are single (I wonder why) and here's the 10 most discussed reasons why they might not be into you:

1. Not confident;huge turn off.

2. Being too clingy is just not cute.

3. A nasty attitude will get you know where.

4. Yes ladies, they really do care what their mother's think.

5. Be sexy, not all men like t-shirts and sweats to bed.

6. You must like at least ONE sport.

7. Sex is great, but showing your freaky side TOO soon only makes them wonder what you do with other guys.

8. Embrace your natural beauty.

9. They still want to open doors.

10. Don't compare yourself to their last girlfriend.

Of course my husband knows Ive broken a few rules on the list, but that's okay by him. Obviously, he was just that into me.

PP

And the Oscar Goes to...

This past Saturday was fabulous! I attended a comedy show in Fishkill, NY that was put together by a hardworking family member.

She had asked me to participate in a skit she wrote, stating that all I had to do was read one line. With a thousand excuses in tow, she ignored them and begged me to help out; she insisted she had no one else to do it. I reluctantly agreed. I'm a sucker for helping others!

All was fine and dandy until I saw the crowd trickle in, my already rising panic began to set in. I was so nervous. Never in my life had I ever been on a stage in front of a crowd---a large one at that. Keep in mind, I'm a writer not a performer. As the time drew closer, I selfishly prayed that maybe they'd skip my part.

I eventually grabbed some confidence, mixed it with a little faith, got on that stage, in front of that crowd and performed. It was actually exhilarating! I can see why actors love what they do. Even for that brief moment, being on that stage brought about a new person, a fearless woman ready and able to take on the world.

After wards, I was able to relax, have a drink or two and enjoy the show.

And boy was it hilarious!

PP

To Find Willpower

Where is my willpower? I don't know why, but this week has been a tough week in regards to my attempt to diet.  How can I motivate myself to stay on the course of health? The objective is simple, get healthy.

Yeah, it would be nice to fit into my old clothes again. Goodness, I'm not asking to be a size 2! At 5' 7" I'd be totally comfortable with a size 12.

I've had dessert everyday this week and as I type this post, I'm seriously regretting it. I know eating ice cream every night is not healthy and most of you would recommend that I substitute it for fruit or frozen yogurt. Been there, done that. But it's no guarantee that I won't be headed back to my freezer.

For the last two months I have been exercising, but my diet has remained the same; I'm still eating the sugary sweets that caused me to gain weight in the first place. Normally, when I said I wanted to lose weight, I lost it. That's no longer the case. Statistics and research don't lie; the older you get, the harder it is to lose weight.

You just don't understand how bad I want to give up, to just throw in the towel. But I can't do that, for the sake of my health, I must do everything in my power to get in the driver's seat. If I have to dig deep down in my ice cream-eating-soul, by God I'm going to find a way to show some sort of self-control.

Willpower I will get you, so watch out!

PP

A Walk in Her Shoes

When I left Children's Services in January, I had good reason. The job was highly demanding, overwhelming to say the least.

With my eyes barely open, a CBS news report mentioned a woman who fabricated making home visits to families of children that she really didn't see. New York State Attorney General, Andrew Cuomo has spoken out against the welfare worker who is now facing criminal charges.

While I don't condone what she has allegedly done, I completely understand why she may have done this. I've walked in her shoes. As a CPS, keeping up with paperwork, court dates, home visits and such, suffocated me. I never felt like I got anything done even though all I was doing was working. My families invaded my dreams, seeping into my subconscious. I gained 20lbs too. I consider myself to have a good solid work ethic. I've given 100% or more at every position I've held, but at this job, I felt as though I were walking on egg shells. When it comes to the safety of a child, that's not exactly where I want to be. Something had to give.

Deciding to leave has left a financial burden on both my husband and myself, but when I was questioning myself, questioning my character; I had no other choice.

Although a a new job opportunity has come about, I don't expect it to be easy. No job is without its pitfalls. Working diligently, continuing my work as a writer and working in a professional, ethical manner is what I expect to do.

PP

We've Got a Winner

As a writer, it feels great when people recognize and enjoy your work. In April, I entered an essay contest sponsored by our local libraries here in Poughkeepsie, NY. The subject was love and forgiveness. I picked an incident in my life where love and forgiveness intertwined. This experience was close to my heart. In the end love and forgiveness overpowered bitterness and resentment.

Amazingly enough, my essay was chosen, along with two other talented writers, as one of the three best. Prize: $100 gift card to my favorite store--Barnes and Noble!

I will continue to write and one day I will become a published author. From the looks of it, I'm already heading in that direction.

Cheers to dreaming big!

PP

Moral Madness

My taste in television shows is like my taste in music, as mixed as a bowl of assorted fruits.

With a few of my favorite shows, Desperate Housewives, Two and a Half Men, ending this season, I'm happily adjusting to a life filled with reruns.

Still, is it just me or are most television shows that cater to the younger crowd filled with materialistic ideals of beauty and success? Admittedly, I found myself watching Gossip Girl, 90210, Rock of Love and For the Love of Ray J. These shows have a narcissistic quality that has infected society. It's infected me. 

I'm not the moral police, but I'm still trying to find a show that doesn't make it seem like all we care about is how we look, who we know or how much money we have.

Thank goodness, when I wanted to escape the moral madness, I watch the Discovery Channel.

PP

Clean Clothes

My day has started off a little rough around the edges. I went to the laundromat this morning to wash my enormous load of clothes. I discovered that the washer had deposited some icky film on my whites causing me to have to wash them again.

A sign hung directly in my view. It states that the laundromat was "not responsible for damaged clothes." I clenched my teeth. All I could do was run to the store, get bleach and hope the crud would come out of my clothes.

This process took another 1 1/2 of my time. I was not a happy camper.

Finally, after I realized that I just needed to do what I had to do, everything started to fall into place. A second wash made the clothes look like new. That was a relief. I'm not in the position to invest in a new "white" wardrobe right now.

I was able to get myself prepared for the day and now, after a brief nap, I'm ready to take on the world.

Until it's time to do laundry again!

PP

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is definitely a day that brings out the hunger in everyone. If a cookout isn't planned ahead of time; we take turns calling each other up to find out who is having one.

Growing up Memorial Day wasn't Memorial Day without a cookout. It was just inconceivable!

Today, my husband and I took a brisk walk around the neighborhood, we drove around admiring some of the more luxurious homes in the Hudson Valley area and then we enjoyed a game of tennis. Even though we both were clueless, my husband declared himself the winner, we relished the time together.

Later on I spent time with my mother down by the Hudson River. We set up some chairs, grabbed our books, some sandwiches, found a shady spot and just relaxed in our fold-out chairs.

My cookout-less day was just as mellow and fantastic as I wanted it to be and I hope yours was too!

PP

Embrace Nature

If you see me you wouldn't think I'm the outdoorsy type. Truth is, I love the outdoors.

Growing up in the suburbs allowed me to really experience nature first hand. Typically, my siblings and I would go outside and ride or bikes or explore the wooded trails in the back of our ranch-style home. When we were feeling really frisky, we launched ourselves onto the screened porch deck, without our parents knowledge.

As wild as we were, my upbringing helped me to really appreciate nature. In my early twenties I became a camp counselor in Fishkill, New York and a few years later I traveled to Orange County, California for the same purpose. It was in California where I learned to make re fried beans over a camp fire, went horseback riding, fishing and canoeing (even though I can't swim--that's another post!).

On this day, the clouds have gathered and a thunderstorm has moved through the area. It's perfect. The sound of the rolling thunder humbles me in a way that's unexplainable. I laugh as the pouring rain chases the shouting kids outside my apartment window back inside for cover. They may not respond to an adult telling them to keep their voices down, but they respect the rain.

On a day like today where I don't feel so mobile, I crawl up on the couch with a good book and let the sunlight beam on me.

It's my subtle way of embracing nature.

PP

Good People, Great Things

I'm surrounded by good people doing great things. I have friends that are budding entrepreneurs. Friends that donate and raise money for various causes. Friends that are active and committed to improving the community. As an aspiring author and newly community activist, we all have that same drive.

That said, another good friend has launched Imprint-TV. Imprint-TV is all about covering the "good news" in the NYC Metro area. It's a refreshing take on documenting ordinary people who are doing extraordinary things, with no hopes of retribution or rewards.

Yes, those people still exist.

What have you done good today?

For more info check out Imprint-TV.com

PP

Phenomenal

When my best girlfriend from high school was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension, I did not know how serious the condition was. I suffer from Hypertension, so I thought, as crazy as this sounds, PH was a fancy name for it.

Sadly, I did not know the severity of her illness until I saw her attached to an oxygen tank. She cannot live without it.

My girlfriend has always been an optimist. She's spiritual, lovely to talk to and always kind. I was completely blown away by her condition. I asked her a ton of questions. She didn't drink. She didn't smoke. No one in her family had it. How could this happen to such a lovely woman? But her strength in fighting through her illness only made me question my own strength. What if it happened to me, I thought.

In my selfish thinking, my girlfriend understood the curiosity. She understood where I was coming from. She was so informed about her illness that she just decided to learn everything about it and fight through it; she raises money for PH at her annual Bowl Phor Cure event. She admits to having her moments, but I have never seen her without a smile.

I never took my Hypertension seriously, missing my meds was a big problem. But my girlfriend encouraged me to take care of myself and learn about whatever I need to do to keep it controlled.

Isn't she wonderful?

For more info about PH go to www.phenomenalhope.com

PP

Don't Send a Text Please

When my husband asks me if I’m busy, I know it’s a trap. It means one of two things: 1) He's already made plans. 2) He wants to see if I made plans without his knowledge. Sound petty? Of course!

Yesterday, we got into a debate about our weekend plans. Our original plan was to go away for the weekend, but because I’ve been unemployed for so long, there was no extra money to do so. Instead, I made plans with a girlfriend, one whom I haven’t seen in ages. Problem---he made plans with one of his buddies too!

Right now, there is one car; one car, four people wanting to do two separate things.

We debated though texting. At the end of the night, we both were right about one thing....talking about our issues in person is the only way to go. In my experience, texting or e-mailing my husband about sensitive issues is tacky. We don't want to be one of those couples. So in the future we will kick it old school and talk face-to-face.

My husband ended up canceling with his friend. I didn't feel we came to an actual compromise; he gave in. I appreciate my husband's graciousness. I will consider what he sacrificed if we ever encounter this type of situation again.

 PP

United or Divided

I often find myself reading celebrity blogs to pass the time. I opt for PNN because it’s a community of regular women with real issues, successes and dreams to share with others; I have found this network to be more appealing. Though I write more than I read, it’s such a relief to see women really coming together and making things happen.

Is this feeling of unity accross the board?

Enter GOOP, a newsletter by actress Gwyneth Paltrow. I admit that I like her newsletter. I read enough celebrity blogs to know that Paltrow is often pegged her as this snobby Upper East Sider who gloats about her lifestyle. Maybe she has thoughts to share outside of acting, why should we look down on that?

As women we often send mixed messages in society. We praise celebrities and their lives (although now reality stars are staring to hog the promotional spotlight). We praise each other when we try to be more than who we are. But when a celebrity does it, the praising, depending on whom the celeb is, kinda stops at the front door. This is just my observation.

My motto is and has always been --we are one. Unity is what makes this network fun. Unity is what brings together our families. Unity is what makes this country great. If it’s about unity---why do I feel we are so divided?

I'm still wondering.

PP

All in the Family

My interests in all things that involve writing is something that has been my not-so-secret escape since I was a young girl. I have stacks of diaries and tons of short stories as proof. I grew up in a large family, complete with step brothers and sisters. There is nothing like family, right? So when an opportunity to work with my cousin presented itself, I went for it.

I'm uncertain about where the road will lead us.

My partner is consistently blowing me off to work on her "other" projects. Even after meeting together--each time she was 15 to 20 minutes late--I realized that she isn't as passionate about the project as I am.

I turned to my husband and sister who did not know about the impending project. They fear she is going to present my ideas to others and make them her own. As luck would have it, my patner claims to be working with a few friends on another project, one that is totally separate from ours.

In the beginning she was excited and ready to roll. The excitement is starting to wain. Suddenly, we don't meet as much. My attempts to get together has been peppered with excuses.

Every part of me wants to sever ties with her, but she is my cousin.

I plan to move forward with or without her partnership. I will move swiftly, sharing only what needs to be shared. In a way, I am fearful of proceeding without her because she has this bubbly personality, perfect for networking. I am somber and don't enjoy the spotlight as much.

Perhaps a couple of months from now, I will look back at my gripes and laugh.

PP

Reject

Back in the early 2000's Mariah Carey came to New York City to MTV's TRL. I waited online to see my favorite artist, but was abruptly halted by shows producers; they were not letting anyone else in. I was hurt. I couldn't believe I was "this" close to seeing her. To make matters worst, I left the area and when I came back, Mariah was in the same spot signing autographs. I dare not lie, nor am I exaggerating. I tried to fight the crowd, but it was too late. Her bodyguards whisked her away from the mayhem, speeding away in a black limo.

Its no secret that rejection is something we all have to deal with. The "Mariah"experience was the first time that I felt a serious blow to my ego.

As an aspiring children's author, I started sending my query letters to various publishers at the beginning of this year. For months, I hadn't heard anything. No news is good news, right? Wrong! I finally received my first letter and my book idea didn't fly. I was REJECTED.

I should be sad. I should give up. No, that's not what I will do. Instead, I am going to frame that letter. At least I know that someone took the time to read my query.  And eventually, someone will find my ideas remarkable and I will have my books published.

MTV producers sent me away, publishers don't want to invest in my ideas. Those are just a few examples of my rejection encounters. Of course my mission to meet MC is not as important as publishing my books. I have a long way to go and that's OK.

Besides, what would life be like without rejection?

PP

Simplicity

Today is the day that my husband and I said "I do" two years ago--in other words, its our anniversary.

I don't like greeting cards and I'm partial to flowers (although I do love those daisies)....a simple, "I love you" will do. We will have a dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, courtesy of my mother. And we will watch a movie. As simple as all this sounds, its exactly what we want.

Today is a day to reflect on what we, as a couple, need to do to improve our relationship. We could dwell on the past and all that we didn't do. But an anniversary is a step ahead, not a step back.

Cheer's to our future!

PP

Too Old to Have a Baby

Too old to have a baby? I came across a report that a woman, age 66, was 8 months pregnant with her first child.

I am not one to judge, but baring a child at that age will probably be challenging.

I'm 30 years old and I don't have any children. Though I am still considered young, if by the age of 40 I do not have any children, I may count motherhood out.

That woman was blessed with a child and she shouldn't be demonized by the media to think otherwise. Motherhood is a personal choice.

I wish her and her unborn child a long, healthy and happy future.

PP

Bills, Bills, Bills

Growing up my mother use to say "money is the root to all evil," while I think having tons of money could be harmful, not having enough can make life extremely stressful.

My husband and I have been trying to figure out a way for us to manage our bills on one income, minus the arguing and accusations that one of us is mishandling the money. I have been out of work, by choice, for the past five months. I was supposed to start a new job last week, but when I went to take a physical they told me my blood pressure was too high to start the position. Of course, I was mortified and angry with myself.

Just when I thought I would once again be able to contribute to our finances, my health gets in the way. I wanted to tell them that my blood pressure is high because we don't have the money to pay our bills.

My husband and I aren't exactly the model citizens when it comes to money management. We are struggling to change our ways. We haven't started a family yet. We hope to be in a better place when we do.

I’d like to change my mother’s use of that old money quote to "not managing your money is the root to all evil."

I know that if my husband and I work together, we can get through this tough time. There are many going through the same thing. First, I must continue to take care of my health, so when I do start work, there will be no problems. Once everything starts to fall in place, money will be the least of our problems.

PP

Child Star

When I was a child I often fantasized about being on television. Perhaps I didn't have the adorableness of Rudy Huxtable or the beauty of Samantha Micelli, but I felt I was dramatic enough.

Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame made a comment about American child actors versus British child actors. Radcliffe says that in Britain, child actors are treated like children before they are treated like stars.

Lindsey Lohan is a classic example of the effects Hollywood has on child actors. From an innocent child to a triple rehab er, Lohan's career has been overshadowed by her known drug use.You would think with her mother as her manager, Lohan would have skipped the drugs and excessive partying. That wasn't the case as her mother treated her like her friend, a celebrity not her daughter. Dina Lohan still doesn't get it.

Does Hollywood have no boundaries when it comes to child actors? In the midst of a recession, maybe the next batch of child stars will have to learn that less is more. Maybe they will be surrounded by individuals that actually care about their well being. I question the executives and agents and how they allow their clients to fall easily to a life of drugs, alcohol and risky sex. Perhaps Hollywood needs a moral makeover, for our children's sake.

I look back at how Paris Hilton became famous for 'The Simple Life,' a show that focused on two spoiled rich girls trying to make it in a "normal" family. The premise of the show was slightly insulting. The girls were rude, conniving, ill-mannered and insensitive. Interestingly enough, Hilton went on to become the Queen of endorsements. Not even a sex tape stopped her popularity, instead this made her more famous. How do parents explain this situation to their children?

So far, Disney starlet Keke Palmer of True Jackson fame, has managed to stay out of the headlines. She isn't as popular as Miley Cyrus, but even Cyrus has had her share of controversy; suggestive nude photos, a 20 year old boyfriend, seemingly overzealous parents, racist photos. All is neatly swept under the rug, so that the young starlet can continue filling the pockets of Hollywood bigwigs.

Change is attainable. Once a child star herself, Drew Barrymore was able to change her life around after years of drug abuse. For all the criticizing we do, we still have a responsibility to instill values and morals in ALL children and they should be treated as such.

PP

Throwing in the Towel

At age 30, I never thought I'd officially throw in the towel to my once thriving night life. In my late teens and early twenties I remember hitting the local clubs with my sister and our entourage. We only danced when we thought no one was looking. We lacked the confidence to go out and shake our tail feather on an empty dance floor. We stayed close to the wall.

Well, I have come a long way. My sister and a few girls friends and I recently went out last night to a local club in our hometown. The music was pumping, the drinks flowing and we, unlike before, went out on an empty dance floor and danced our hearts out. I caught two seemingly unhappy chicks in the corner staring at us, and whispering. I danced even wilder, flailing my arms and shaking my hips. Even an old friend from high school had to be subjected to my craziness; my dancing was off the hook!

In today's clubs women are a lot bolder than my sister and I were. For example, I saw a young woman with an ample bottom, shaking it semi-bare, exposed thong and all, while her girlfriends were filming it on their phones. Imagine that!

I have confidence in myself and in my dancing. Those days of standing on the wall are over. And even though I woke up this morning with sore knees, I may dance again.

I'm throwing in the towel to shyness;I won't hit the party scene every weekend or expose my rear end, but when the girls feel the urge to go out and dance, I just might do it.

PP

Goosebumps

Last night my husband and I got into a discussion about music, specifically the type of music we listened to growing up. My husband is from the South Bronx and I am from Upstate New York, so you could imagine the differences.

That said, I asked my husband what is his top 5 songs, music that gives him goosebumps. Here's what he said:

1. "South Bronx" by KRS One

2. "I Ain't No Joke" by Eric B and Rakem

3. "Friends" by Jodie Watley

4. "R.A.W." by Big Daddy Kane

5. "Symphony" by Marly Marl

My list was TOTALLY different. There is a seven year age gap between us, so keep that in mind. Here's my top 5;

1. "Can't Let Go" by Mariah Carey

2. "Take Control" by Bobbi Brown (from the Ghostbusters soundtrack)

3. "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna

4. "Step by Step" by New Kids on the Block

5. "Freedom" by George Micheal

After all the talk both my husband and I wanted to check out some videos and boy were they cheesy. Madonna had a uni brow, the rappers had big gold chains and Mariah was very, very slender. All the videos we checked out were provided by good old You Tube! My husband didn't put up a fuss when I asked to check out some of my favorite videos; he sat and watched NKOTB's Step by Step. For him, that was painful.

Music always makes me happy, like a giddy high school girl. It brings about wonderful memories and lots of good times.

I think I will go turn on the radio now.

PP

Gotta Have Heart

I have to admit, I am a sucker for celebrity gossip, but in a good way. I adore reading stories about stars who help in their community. We all know the superficial intentions of many Hollywood actors and actresses, but those that have heart, it shows.

As a big fan of Nicole Richie, I have to say that girlfriend has totally made a positive change. While her former BFF, Paris Hilton, could use a little "Richie Therapy," Nicole seems to genuinely care about bettering herself and her community.

Oh yeah, it definitely helps that she looks good doing it!

PP

Eight Ball

Have you ever had an idea that you just know will take off, only to find out that someone has done it already? This morning I was flipping through Family Circle for some recipes and I stumbled across two great individuals; Keith Hefner and Tanya Walters. Both are contributing to their communities in more ways than one. Mr. Hefner has established a newspaper that encourages inner-city youth to write and Ms. Walters takes road trips with inner-city youth, exposing them to colleges, museums and historic sights.

I have wrestled with the thought of creating an outlet for today's youth. I am filled with a million excuses as to why I haven't put my ideas into action. They didn't create roadblocks, instead they crossed them.

Still, I somehow, always manage to be behind the eight ball. I continue to press on. There is great opportunity to help others. It takes time. It takes great commitment.

Joke of the Week

Doctor, doctor

Recently I went to the doctor for my annual physical.

The nurse asked me how much I weighed. I told her 135 pounds. Then she weighed me and the scale said 160.

She asked me how tall I was. I said, "5 feet, 5 inches." She measured me and I was only 5 feet, 3 inches.

So she took my blood pressure and told me it was high.

"Of course it's high," I said. "When I came in here I was tall and slender. Now I'm short and fat!"

In My MP3

Song:Beat It

Artist:Michael Jackson

Album: Thriller

One of my favoirte Michael Jackson songs.

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About Me

I am an aspiring children's author, community advocate and blogger. I was deadlocked in a miserable job and in the mist of a recession, I left.

I knew I wanted to start a blog because I look forward to making friends and connections through PNN. Each month I will feature a photo, taken by yours truly, that's called my monthly Pro Point.

I believe being positive in all areas of life, no matter how dire the circumstances, gives us the power to move forward and embrace our lives.

The power of positivity is truly amazing!

PP